HAPPY 7TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY.

i was damn drunk on friday and didn't turn up for work on saturday and received a "verbal" warning letter. that drunk night, painful lesson learned. i got plenty of bruises all over me. skip that part, my dearest boyfriend sent me home and put me to sleep and had a long chat with my sister and my dad.

daddy and sister know that i really smoke, the fact that i smoke. don't be surprised. *i'm at the quitting process, FYI.* countless of times i disappoint my family members, they blamed themselves for not spending enough time with me, enough time to talk to me and all. but i don't blame them at all.

i'm being rebellious, spending a lot of money on unnecessary things, drinking a lot, doing piercings, refuse to eat proper meals, blame them for being naggy, not talking nicely and being rude. put it easy, spoiled princess attitude. learning about they cry for me breaks my heart. what can i say? i'm selfish. i only think about myself.

i never run out of second chance from them, countless of times they forgive me over and over again. how fortunate i am to have such a nice family. i'm so blessed and yet i still complain and never satisfied. a failure, useless daughter, sister they have. but i want them to know, i really love them, they are my family that cannot be replaced.

i'm sorry, family. countless of times i disappoint you all. i'm sorry for being so spoiled and pampered and all. i'm sorry for everything.

now, let's talk about my boyfriend. my boyfriend put in a lot of effort to spend time with me, knowing that he doesn't spend much time with me. he missed out company dinner, didn't hang out much with his friends and family but to spend time with me. boyfriend went clubbing with me regardless how tired he is just to take care of me. where can i find such a nice boyfriend? i pushed him away when i'm drunk, i scold him, i shouted at him in front of his friends. he is angry, he is hurt and sad.

i'm sorry boyfriend, i hurt you, i make you angry. i don't want to hurt you, not anymore. i love you, i always do. i love you a lot and you are the only guy i want to spend the rest of my life with. i really mean it. you taught me a lot. you taught me a lot about this world. thank you boyfriend.

boyfriend talked to my sister and my dad, everything was okay. daddy accept david as my boyfriend, my sister say i found a good boyfriend.

how can i afford to lose him? i never want to lose him. i love him, i love him a lot.

i haven't been a good girlfriend. i'm selfish. i only think about myself and not anyone else. selfish me. i'm truly a big disappointment, a failure.